I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
