I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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