So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Farmville is her only friend.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
