I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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