I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sobbing to NWA
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
