spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
