well you can't waste a boner
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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