I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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