I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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