Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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