take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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