Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
