bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
third nipple confirmed
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
