Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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