I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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