I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
