Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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