I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
