I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
