Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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