I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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