we should wear snuggies to the strip club
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
