I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
