I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
