Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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