on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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