Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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