Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
