we're blogging at a bar
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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