I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
