Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
