Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
