quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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