Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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