Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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