and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
