a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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