he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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