so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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