Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

(765): View more from Indiana

call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

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(281): View more from Texas

threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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(631): View more from New York

He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?

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(310): View more from California

Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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(852): View more from

Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.

(852): View more from

Never judge a man by his mustache.

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(313): View more from Michigan

It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.

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