They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?