Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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