Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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  (334): I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is (1-334): I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P http://tfl.nu/fyjw
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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  (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu
  Replies (63) Good night (16756) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.

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  (617): Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street. http://tfl.nu/miwy
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (3491)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth

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  (414): it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth http://tfl.nu/rgv0
  Replies (19) Good night (880) Bad night (4586)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.

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  (407): me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun. http://tfl.nu/sy2c
  Replies (41) Good night (4191) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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  (814): I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?" http://tfl.nu/d4r4
  Replies (120) Good night (1660) Bad night (4548)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?

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  (617): Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness? http://tfl.nu/575t
  Replies (18) Good night (5593) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.

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  (630): He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over. http://tfl.nu/mky5
  Replies (13) Good night (960) Bad night (5816)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible

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  (805): you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible http://tfl.nu/6jjf
  Replies (11) Good night (940) Bad night (4697)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I need you to use more vowels.

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  (812): gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar (219): I need you to use more vowels. http://tfl.nu/cjfw
  Replies (15) Good night (8169) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  gladiator or hannah montana?

  (514): View more from Quebec

  This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.

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  (438): gladiator or hannah montana? (514): This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone. http://tfl.nu/qyay
  Replies (3) Good night (2862) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying

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  (774): Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin (774): He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying http://tfl.nu/waxr
  Replies (3) Good night (1953) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!

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  (804): I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow! http://tfl.nu/cfk1
  Replies (10) Good night (2162) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.

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  (330): I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it. http://tfl.nu/otfu
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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  (206): He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober. http://tfl.nu/q7n9
  Replies (7) Good night (818) Bad night (333)

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