Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
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If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...