He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
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Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex