Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?

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  (603): Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies? http://tfl.nu/c806
  Replies (6) Good night (3303) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor

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  (703): Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor http://tfl.nu/qca9
  Replies (20) Good night (2724) Bad night (646)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

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  (479): New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. http://tfl.nu/3d1m
  Replies (42) Good night (917) Bad night (2744)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.

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  (813): Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed. http://tfl.nu/pp8v
  Replies (44) Good night (1086) Bad night (5349)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco

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  (734): it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco http://tfl.nu/syi8
  Replies (19) Good night (3264) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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  (865): Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/7i54
  Replies (18) Good night (11303) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...

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  (770): If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday... http://tfl.nu/nvs1
  Replies (10) Good night (3269) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.

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  (207): No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/mlps
  Replies (14) Good night (1451) Bad night (3985)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.

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  (409): We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team. http://tfl.nu/iz22
  Replies (8) Good night (1911) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up

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  (918): thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up http://tfl.nu/ajex
  Replies (0) Good night (1916) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.

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  (445): My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment. http://tfl.nu/kvle
  Replies (5) Good night (1564) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.

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  (+61): How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face. http://tfl.nu/d4p2
  Replies (8) Good night (802) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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  (614): It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me http://tfl.nu/sahk
  Replies (19) Good night (1907) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

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  (763): I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy http://tfl.nu/fuzq
  Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?

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  (845): I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here? http://tfl.nu/28so
  Replies (7) Good night (357) Bad night (733)

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