Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
