it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My ass is underappreciated
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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