ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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