Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
