if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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