I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
