those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
