One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
