My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
