hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
