I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
