I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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