it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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