butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
where am i from again
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
