No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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