Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
