I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
