Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Drunk is a universal language darling
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
