so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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