I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you didnt know i had herpes?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
