Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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